Sleep Token & The Slippery Slop Slope

Few metal bands ever make it actually big. I can probably count the amount of groups that have broken into the mainstream since 2000 on my fingers, and most of them are aggressively fine. As collective society, we really shouldn’t have high standards for groups that cover pop songs (Sleep Token’s 3rd official release was a cover of Hey Ya), and we really shouldn’t let bands make entire careers of it. Sleep Token luckily didn’t. Up until 2025 they have fit in the aggressively fine camp. They’ve pretty much been this alternative metal group that combines pop elements, but also have a masked lead singer and use a whole bunch of weird content-creator tribalism social media stuff (and have Breaking Benjamin reply to every post). I’m not here to dig into their “lore” or critique their public persona (I think it’s stupid), and I’ve literally never considered caring about their music. That changed with their 2025 album, Even In Arcadia, which is one of the most offensive pieces of art I have ever wasted time engaging with. It went #1 the week it debuted.

Even In Arcadia sounds like a band listened to radio pop, hip hop, R&B, and rock for 5 years and decided to scrape the 10% worst attributes of each genre. It is the laziest, most uninspired, offensive group of songs I’ve heard in years. ‘Caramel’ looks like the big hit off the project, and I have to assume the real allure is the vocal performance, which is heavily filtered. Instrumentally the song starts with a 4th grader’s attempt at a hip hop beat, but eventually ends with a 3rd grader’s understanding of a metal breakdown and blast beats. It’s a great synopsis for what this album is: a metal/hard rock band attempting to filter in R&B and hip hop influences to make a unique album, packing songs together full of pop-adjacent influences to attract non-metal listeners. No song breaks the formula of: piano, bad trap beat, boring R&B bass groove, stadium chorus, dude-so-heavy guitar riff or breakdown halfway through. None of the guitars are remotely interesting in their sound, nor do they do anything exciting. It’s metal music for H&M, Costco, hospital lobbies, or weather broadcast transitions.

It’s all an admirable effort, if it wasn’t for how insanely bad all of this is. None of these lyrics mean anything. None of these instrumental performances sound inspired. It’s all meant to be as in-offensive as possible, and for people with air-conditioned-room IQs to say mad-libs sentences like “they’re a metal band that uses saxophones and pianos! it’s so cool like who else is making music like this?” Lyrically, all delivered by the masked anonymous singer known as Vessell, but we’re barely digging potholes. No song sounds like a remote level of emotion was put in, genuinely sounds like the lyrics were AI-generated, and could have been more creative if someone illiterate wrote them. It blows my mind how many comments I read about how people relate to this stuff. Each of these songs follows a pretty similar formula: woe is me, I really need you with me, we should be in love, I’m so exhausted, what happens when I’m gone 😦 — buddy you’re a masked autotuner who’s media presence is draped in cult ascetics. Grow up.

Sleep Token didn’t have to be like this. They’re quite literally the most famous metal band in a generation. Take Me Back to Eden, released in 2023, had some really interesting ideas! There’s haunting melodies inspired by Atlanta, flesh gothic ascetics, layered melodies, and songs like ‘Vore’ scratch the heavy itch. Some songs are still straight up garbage; DYWTYLM is the worst 1975 song I’ve ever heard. Even their 2021 record, This Place Will Be Your Tomb, sounded like a progression of nu-metal or modern radio butt rock. None of these sounds are really present on Even In Arcadia.

Instead, they made metal songs for white people that listen to Drake unironically. It’s for goths that vote republican. Have you ever thought “It’s Not Over” by Daughtry was the best song ever? Great, here’s an entire band dedicated to that bit but dude they’re anonymous. There has to be some level of 00’s divorced dad rock nostalgia here, but there’s at least a level of sarcasm with those songs. Sleep Token’s new album has no room for jokes, and no ability for empathy, and is meant to be taken so seriously. Because we know literally nothing about the band’s members, why would I even remotely care? You aren’t communicating any level of emotion to me, and your instrumentals are not inspiring enough for me to get over that. Instead, you’ve made pop music with no depth and no risks. Years ago we called that ‘selling out’ – in 2025 I’ll call it ‘dogshit’. Creating a metal band around lore and vibes doesn’t make the music good, and it’s up to the listener to recognize that. We’ve failed.

I will not sit on a high horse and think the metal I like(d) is good. Attack Attack & early Of Mice & Men aren’t necessarily good or forward thinking, but it was at minimum fun. Asking Alexandria putting out a dubstep remix album is cool because it’s goofy as hell. It’s the same reason I like MGK’s 2020 pop-punk thing, Tickets to my Downfall, it’s stupid and fun and not MEANT to be taken seriously. Sleep Token instead seriously strips the fun and creates songs that sound like they were put together in a boardroom for stockholders. It’s as corporate and commercial metal can get, systemically created to algorithmically get listens, organized in focus groups, and when it’s that professionally processed the joy of music is the first thing that gets cut.

Pop is Slop, Eat Up.

There are two artists in my brain that have gone in opposite slop routes: Noah Kahan and Benson Boone. In one corner, you have an artist that poured his heart out over unimaginative instrumentals to create a really captivating folk pop album that was rereleased 3 times. In the other corner, it’s the most commercialized pop music, maybe ever?

I’ll be straight up: I like some of Noah Kahan’s songs. Stick Season came out on October 14th, 2022 — almost three years ago. My favorite song off that joint is ‘She Calls Me Back’ – which is a super cheesy song with a dancey drum beat. The riff on the chorus scratches my brain in ways gothic country does. I find most of the tunes on there to be more than enjoyable, with some being great, and some being total snoozers. It’s got some really dated stomp & holler stuff on there (Orange Juice), but Noah’s delivery and thumb-on-your-heart lyrics really glitz it up wonderfully.

So why’s three years passed and we’re listening to the same crop of songs? Because the deluxe edition, Stick Season (We’ll All Be Here Forever) came out in June 2023, and the super-delux, Stick Season (Forever), released in February 2024. Let’s be frank here, the deluxe songs aren’t good enough to warrant a reissue. Your Needs, My Needs, is the most formulaic song he’s released – it’s literally Beautiful Things by Benson Boone or Believer by Imagine Dragons. Dial Drunk rules. The other 4 songs aren’t worth your time. At some point, this extended album cycle turns from long to exhausting to slop.

It officially did on July 18th when Post Malone was featured on Dial Drunk, a ridiculous excuse to chart off name recognition. Stick Season (Forever) has *SEVEN* of these songs featuring the likes of the aforementioned Postie, Lizzy McAlpine, Kacey Musgraves (<3), Hozier, Gracie Abrams, Sam Fender, Brandi Carlile, and Gregory Alan Isakov. Only one of these features adds anything to the song – Post Malones’ – and I still prefer the original.

It’s like the folk avengers got assembled but left their personality at the door so Noah could play dress up. Nepo baby discourse aside, the vast majority of these features are practically rehashing Kahan’s original presentation of the song rather than adding their own rendition or intention. Each of these songs were released as singles through 2023 and 2024, and are so blatantly a cash grab that it’s genuinely hilarious Forever (only new original on Forever) charted higher than all but Dial Drunk. Many years ago, listeners would have recognized this for what it was – a desperate attempt to extend your breakout album cycle. Instead, in the age of streaming & re-released albums, we got three editions of the same 14 songs and limited demands of new music. It’s pathetic, it’s slop.

Noah effectively made his slop by re-re-re-rehashing his own tunes. That’s mostly okay because at least the original ideas were pretty flush of personality, so he gets a pass from me. Benson Boone does not. Benson Boone is a living advertisement completely devoid of any individuality. His top commenters on tiktok are unironically brands, all literally fluffing each other and him. It’s repulsive and devoid of humanity. He’s signed to the lead singer of Imagine Dragons’ record label.

I listened to his 2024 debut, Fireworks & Rollerblades recently and sniffed out the Mormonism immediately. It’s 15 songs in 49 minutes, and I have unironically heard all 15 songs done by other artists far better. It’s super easy to say he’s the American Harry Styles, but that’s extremely offensive to Harry. Benson Boone songs are frequently a much worse Harry song. Songs like Hello Love sound like a blatant John Legend ripoff, while Drunk In My Mind is a repulsive rendition of a 2000s R&B tune. In the Stars is a generic piano ballad they’ll be playing in grocery stores for the next 4 years. There’s 49 minutes aka 2490 seconds, and somehow not a single idea in that entire package.

The upcoming album, American Heart, is going to be critically panned everywhere except where publications are paid off. It’s going to be one of the most hated albums of the modern era. I already despise both singles — Magical Mystical is so repulsive and means nothing to the point I physically recoil when I hear it. Here’s the pre-chorus:

Once you know what my love’s gonna feel like
Nothing else will feel right, you can feel like
Moonbeam ice cream, taking off your blue jeans
Dancing at the movies, ’cause it feels so —

Disgusting. How do you rip off bro-country lyrics blue jeans cold beer? Moonbeam ice cream is Great Value™ ‘Watermelon Sugar‘ – and this is the tune he’s used in over a dozen tiktoks with Youtube, Princess Polly, Cheez-It, Jimmy John’s, Vita Coco, and Spotify littering the comments. It’s so blatantly music made to terrorize retail employees and played in ads. Rather than being made for ads, the song itself is the ad. Benson Boone himself is the commercial, and he exists so your favorite snack or rest-stop beverage can engage with his content. End-of-times commercialized music is here, where follower counts & monthly listeners are artificially boosted through fake engagement by marketing departments rather than actual consumers.

It’s the opposite approach Noah took, where he advertised and toured his own music to collab with other artists. Benson is quite literally making music specifically as an advertisement for our beloved brands like Combos™ so they can wash themselves of any type of marketing campaign. This is very bad, because this upcoming album and the singles are almost certainly to chart between #1 and #5, it’s going to be some of the worst music of the year, and it’ll get billions of streams with no vision.

It’s all so insipid, and worst of all he acts like he’s doing something cool — chastising his Coachella crowd for not getting hype for Brian May’s appearance for Bohemian Rhapsody (27m views on tiktok btw). The most-boring-guy-you’ve-ever-met’s idea of a cool concert has a Bohemian Rhapsody cover. He so clearly thought the crowd was there to see him rip off power ballads from original artists rather than pop ass to Missy Elliot or camp all day for Gagachella. Benson Boone’s version of slop is someone who thinks they’re cool and has surrounded themselves with unflavored rich people — where craziest thing they’ve ever done is ‘haha downloaded this app!’ He’ll be an award show performance guy that tours in arenas & stadiums for his entire career, and your coworkers will rave about ‘how good a performer he is’ – not knowing the entire concert was an advertisement for Feastables or a new Frito-Lay product. No cultural impact whatsoever outside of making the mullet x ‘stache combo immediately uncool.

The only year since 2016 we didn’t get a Drake project was 2024. The only ones under an hour are borderline unlistenable or throwaway projects. We have a collection of 176 songs for about 11 hours of music. There’s maybe an hour worth your time in here, the rest is all included to artificially inflate streams. Even worse, he seems so insanely focused on having the spotlight or winning awards. You can’t do that without a laser-focused vision on releasing only your best work, and I refuse to believe anyone releasing 1+ project a year as the principal song writer is making good music. Every one of these projects would be infinitely better if half the songs were cut, but you can’t be the #1 streaming artist with a 10 song album.

Why make full songs then? Why even release finished products? Pop out blatantly unfinished demos or B-sides included and say it’s your new album. Travis Scott did that in 2023 with Utopia, but that’s nothing compared to Playboi Carti.

Whole Lotta Red is one of the defining blockbusters of the 2020s. Legions of camera phones bounce for an hour fighting to catch a glimpse of king Vamp. It’s also five songs and six minutes longer than 2018’s Die Lit, giving us an average song length of barely over 2.5 minutes. Whole Lotta Red listens as short soundbites of ideas. If any of those ideas caught Carti’s attention, he turned it into a full tune. It’s a tale of two ways to write a song, ear catching intro alla Vamp Anthem or full blown hit like Sky. It’s so blatantly clear the songs that had attention put to them are: Rockstar Made, Stop Breathing, M3tamorphosis, Teen X, Control, King Vamp, Sky, and F33l Lik3 Dyin. That leaves another 16 songs that either sound unfinished or like a demo. Artificially inflating an album like this boosts streams, as people want to hear every song on it.

Imagine my surprise when the 2025 collection MUSIC finally released. It’s about as big of a blockbuster anyone can release in 2025, and the final project titled MUSIC – SORRY 4 DA WAIT has an absurd 34 songs for 1 hour and 29 minutes. A simple look at the length of songs or features tells you which ones are remotely worth your time. Under 2:40? Lazy and a throwaway. No feature? Unfinished. Why would Carti waste a Travis, Weeknd, or Future verse? He wouldn’t! He would just waste your time in small 2 minute bunches in between each song that isn’t horrible.

Don’t get me wrong, I like some of the tunes on here: CHARGE DEM HOES A FEE will land in my top5 this year. RATHER LIE is incredible. I’m also not numb that both those tunes are carried by people not named Playboi Carti. COCAINE NOSE is also fun, but it’s entirely carried by The Chainsmokers’ sample (lol). To get through these, you can do one of two things: skip all of the throwaway tunes like MOJO JOJO and CRANK and jump to the hits or bravely listen to some of the laziest slop ever released. Carti was blatantly drunk on influence and didn’t even try to finish the project.

It’s wild we accept this as our standard these days. Get Rich or Die Tryin’ was over an hour across 19 songs, but they blatantly were all finished tunes. Rodeo was 75 minutes long. I wish it was longer. The Forever Story (extended) is 66 minutes long, and probably the best hip hop project this decade. Our superstars are malignant to making incomplete and bloated projects. They’re hammered on the concept of streaming numbers. We’ll be forcefed these 25+ song auditory assaults of soundbites. Labels and artists would rather have 3 MOJO JOJOs on an album than cut it. It’s offensive and clearly wasn’t worth the artist’s time. Why would it be worth ours? It’s slop.